One of my very good friends Bruno Mozzo and I at the Men's Soccer Big East Championship at Red Bull Arena this year in 2011. We have been so lucky to have gotten assignments at the finals the past two years especially while it was being held at one of the new soccer specific stadiums for the MLS. We have had some great memories and games the past 5 years in our college soccer refereeing career, but we have so many more in the years to come in both the college and professional soccer worlds... I look forward to all the games and traveling we have ahead of us... Penn Station 2012???

I'm going to fucking kill you....

... is one of the last things I heard at the end of my very first indoor refereeing shift of the winter. It has been nothing short of an extremely long fall for me. Between college and high school assignments I've done upwards of 60 games, and honestly there is only so much someone can mentally take. I knew I had no business doing games this weekend considering I am just coming off of the season I had; what ia success it was. I was supposed to work the Big East final, but as UConn was one of the teams I was not able to work it since I did go there. So, instead I got to hang out with good friends all weekend, eat great food, drink good booze, head into the city, and create new memories I will have for the rest of my life. Then I got to work on the America East men's soccer final that Sunday. A couple of high school playoff games later, I figured my season was done, but I got a phone call that they needed me to be on the crew at Brown for their first round NCAA playoff game against Farifield (which, if it wasn't for a class L playoff game Wethersfield v. Wilton it would have been the wackiest game I have ever seen). What an honor it was to get an assignment like that, but then I was given the responsibility of being the referee for one of the 4 regional finals/sectional final/elite 8 matches around the country. After a couple of upsets which made it possible for the games to be in the area, it was Steven Institute of Technology v. Montclair State. Relatively uneventful and without controversy, unlike some of the games the weeks before, my crew and I (pictured above) did a great job. What an honor and pleasure it was to work that game, to know that the work I am doing and the guys like me are doing isn't going unnoticed. It is interesting to see the reactions of people when they feel threatened just because you are new and having success. I can only hope that I NEVER retain that quality from my superiors. It is also interesting to see the "friends" you have that you never knew you had. They seem to come with success, just like a bucket of crabs, the first one who tries to get out will not make it becasue he is getting pulled back by the guy behind him. There are always people out there who want to see you fail because they feel maybe they can do the job better, or just that you shouldn't be doing the job in the first place. We cannot let those people bring us down. Do the right thing no matter who it will make happy or who it will upset. It is going to be an interesting time coming up for me as it is back to school in January and I begin my road to becoming a National Referee. It is time for me to be selfish and look out for me and what I want and what is going to make me happy. Of course, those who really matter to me and who are close to me I will look out for them, but I am the only one who is going be successful, no one is going to do that for me.

Yeahh... Still Up

Forgiveness.... Not the kind which those who love you give, but the kind that you have to give to yourself. Even when those people who mean so much to you give you what you need, it still doesn't seem like enough. Days, weeks, months, coming up on a year later you see how one incident, one very large mistake, one thing you wish you could take back, one thing that you hope doesn't ruin the best thing that has ever happened to you, still is an open wound. How am I supposed to move on from this seeing how much it still hurts? Seeing the hurt in your eyes, your tears tears my insides out. I could never do anything to hurt you like that, not that I needed to learn that because you are the one person I cannot hurt and knowing that I did will always live in that part of my brain I wish that I could get rid of until the day I die and even then I'll be wherever I am, still so sorry. You've always been the most important part of my life and all I can say is that I love you and I am sorry... I am so sorry

For any college football fans out there, I waited on Brian Kelley last night. He is the head football coach at Notre Dame. Really funny guy, definitely down to earth and not someone who think he is God's gift to this earth. It is kind of refreshing because the clientele we get is a higher end, wealthier group and some of those people really need to be knocked down a couple pegs.

Awake My Soul

So I'm really not good at this up keeping a blog thing. Usually I have some things on my mind that I want to get out, but don't want to sit down and write them all at once simply because I'm lazy. So, what I do is right a short blurb about how I'm back and that I'm going to carry on updating the blog... well, *cough cough* bullshit and as anyone can see the idea is great and there but the follow through clearly gets an "F."

So I believe it has been about 5 months since I last posted if I am remembering correctly which a lot has happened in that short time. First, as I mentioned before I took some classes at Middlesex so see what else might be out there for me and I believe that I have found it. I was always so interested in psychology when I was at UConn and took a couple classes and this spring I enrolled in an Abnormal Psych class. Studying why people the way they are how the brain works in some, but not others is absolutely fascinating. I plan on heading back to Storrs in the fall to work on my masters and eventual PhD in Clinical Psychology. I have always had a knack for helping people listening and giving advice. If there is one thing that I really like to do it is make people feel great, maybe I might not always do it but I try. SO its back to school for me which really isn't a bad thing as my soccer refereeing is not only still there, but is continuing to to grow. I was selected for a weekly award give out by US Soccer to the best referee performance in their top youth development league for the whole country. Next stop is Frisco, TX for the playoffs for that league. I head out the 23rd and will be back the 28th. I'm not sure how much I'm looking forward to the heat but the football should be great and it will be a chance to get away from CT for a week and do what I love to do. Between school, soccer, a new restaurant job in New Haven, and a relationship I really overloaded my schedule and took no consideration for what I was actually able to handle, but that is another blog for another time. The winter passed and so came the spring and the end of school and a brand new job in Old Saybrook at the brand new restaurant in the hotel on the point. It is such a different experience from Middletown and New Haven. The money is great, but the pressure to know everything about the food and service is high, but it is a welcomed challenge because I know that I will be able to not only succeed, but be the absolute best. Personally, today, I am struggling as the one person, who is such a large part of my life, and myself aren't talking. Apparently space was needed to decide to what was actually wanted. This is someone I love and I respect more than anyone else in the world, she is the strongest person I have met and could only pray to have same strength in my life, so I have no choice but to allow for that. I couldn't put up a stink or make a big deal because it is what she wants, and that's okay. The hurt is deep, it's not a hurt that came from the other person, it's from the interim loss from everyday to not at all and it is very hard. Scientists say that the brain treats separation like death because the it cannot differentiate between the two, it just falls under the category of loss, and that is why we get so upset and feel so terrible when things like that happen. We can only hope though that things happen for a reason, or that it is for the best. Its hard to believe that this feeling is what accompanies what is for the best, but only time will tell. Seconds feel like minutes, minutes feel like hours, and hours feel like days but for now, it is one day at a time.

Kind of a low note to end on so let's all get back on the same plane and gather around a common, uniting property... LeBron James and how much we really don't like him. I can safely say with the utmost confidence that I could not have played any better myself = )

I'm Going to Fill Your Hoo-ha with Goof Juice

So I've just had my first Red Stripe, and I have to say its not that bad. It's like a Jamaican Budweiser, just hope it goes well with Tomato Basil Hamburger Helper with broccoli... Yes that is correct, tonight Anthony (my best friend) and I are foregoing any sort of adult behavior by cooking that instead of a legitimate dinner. Tomorrow begins my return to school as I am taking 4 classes at Middlesex Community College to just see what I may want to continue my education in. Music will always be my first love and passion, but I'm not so sure about an actual career in it, just not too sure if teaching is the route I want to take.

Anthony and I jammed for a little bit in his basement. We are trying to get some songs together for the upcoming summer so that we could play some local bars here and especially when we go out to Block Island. For now it's just the two of us, but we want to add lead guitar and bass. I've been playing guitar for 4 or 5 years now, but this is the first time I've actually jammed with someone else and I have to say if I ever get the opportunity to make a living out of playing music you can bet I will take advantage of it. For now, we are just trying to get down a couple of easy covers that we can really play well. Anthony is one of the best drummers I have heard in person. Seriously, his talent is such that if he went out to LA there would be no doubt that a band would pick him up right away so I mean I have to take advantage the talent while it is still here.

So I have to say, this hamburger helper is pretty legit... can't say I have ever had it before but hey in a bind? I think this is a fall back plan. OK well, on to more Red Stripe then Killians, followed by more jamming and maybe some NetFlix. Whose Line is back on ABC Family at 12am again...great success.

Hooray Beer!

Welcome Back?

I almost forgot that I still had this account until I was mulling around on my facebook, yes thats right I was looking at my own facebook, I don't want to hear it. So it's 3:50am and I really can't sleep it has just been one of those weekends plus I just picked up my brand new laptop and have not been able to get off of it. Before you ask... no, shut up its not a Mac. Not that I have anything against them, I've always just felt more comfortable on a PC and I couldn't be more excited about this one. It's a Sony Vaio and I gotta say, I've only had it for a couple of hours and I already love it. Everyone who I talked to before who has one says they love it and haven't really had many problems, so I'm very excited and hopefully this will be with me for a long time. A lot has happened since I last blogged all the way back in the beginning of summer 2010, and I will try my best to hit all the major points in upcoming posts. Yeah, I know what you're thinking, "Oh well you said last time that you were going to keep up with the blogs and updating, blah blah blah, whine whine whine," well now that I have a laptop again, I'm pretty sure I will be able to back that up. To be honest it feels good to be writing on here again, I have to say there is something theraputic about it, even if I am rambling like a mental patient. Well I have a long day of not a lot and wathcing football, then an indoor soccer shift at Oakwood from 9pm-12am...yeah, joy.

Goodnight and I will be back sooner rather than later...

Seacrest Out